Normally when I decide to fall on the sword for writing about opinions many prefer to keep hidden in the dark corners of their brains, I write a will and divide my possessions. This time round, I might just leave everything to charity.
Ladies, this is for you; After this post, you’ll either want to hang men you relate with; ask questions; kill the men you are with; or just appreciate your position in a man’s life.
Men; I’m sorry, but maybe this might just work in your favor-highly doubt it, but well, we have to try.
Men are the simplest creatures out there, so this might not come as a shocker to many. Normally, or in most cases, Men place women they meet in five categories:
1. The Relationship Type
2. The Friends with Benefits Type
3. The Hit & Run Type
4. The Clingy Type & finally
5. The Friend only type
The Relationship Type; This is the girl you are always scared of, yet you know at the back of your mind, she’s the one. This is the girl you introduce to your parents. This is the girl you don’t mind if all your boys don’t like her. This is the girl you would jump off a bridge to save her wig if the wind blows it away. As a man, if you are a decent judge of character, the moment you meet her you’ll know. Normally this girl doesn’t stand out in a crowd, she’s subtle & will appeal to you due to the simple way she carries herself. This is the girl you will change for. She’s the one.
The Friends with Benefits Type; This girl is special and very mature. She understands that you are both in it for the fun bit of it. However, you must be very careful with this girl. As much as you both understand that this engagement has no chance in the long run, you unknowingly end up in a relationship. You can do this “Call & Hit” charade for a few months & before you know it, one day you’ll both wake up and find yourselves in a relationship. She might not be the type of girl you introduce to your parents, which then leaves you in a very precarious situation. There’s a very thin line between this girl and the relationship type girl & many are yet to fully understand the boundary.
The Hit & Run Type; This is the girl you meet on an out of town trip with your boys or a random party/night out. With this girl, it’s all about the moment. It’s hard to distinguish who, between the man & the woman is using the other. As a guy, the moment you see this girl your eyes start lighting up. The only drawback is, you know she has zero chance of passing for your girlfriend even among your boys, leave alone your parents. For this one, the only option is to satisfy that need and hope no one ever finds out about it. It’s almost an unwritten rule in the hit & run that no one speaks about it after. In situations like this, you regret it after, and you start making resolutions like “I’ll never take alcohol again”. Adrenalin here is both your friend and worst enemy.
The Clingy Type; Men try to avoid this girl at all costs. Usually her self esteem is very fragile & the sad fact is these girls are so sweet. For a girl like this, you talk to her for three continuous days and suddenly in her mind you two are dating. A girl like this wears her heart on her sleeve. A girl like this deserves a good, honest man. For guys who know they can’t offer that-and here i’m talking about self-respecting ones, they try to avoid this girl at all costs. The flip side of this or another form of the clingy girl is one who has evolved from the Friends with benefit category or the Hit and Run category. Usually, you never see it coming & getting out of this one will cost you an arm and a leg. I have known a couple of friends who have moved houses to escape this type of girl.
The Friend Only Type; This is the customary BFF. This lady will act as your wing-man if you ask her. Often times, this girl is the first stop at vetting all women who come through your life. Ladies, if the BFF doesn’t approve, you don’t stand a chance. This girl will make sure you don’t fall for ratchet types on a night out. This girl will ensure that never make the mistake of a hit and run. This girl is your guardian angel. Men are very protective of their girl BFFs & will go to war with other men who hurt their BFF. The BFF is like the cool sister you never had-she’s basically family.
So, girls, ask yourselves, where do you think you fall?
I might not have categorized all of them. If there are any I missed, feel free to add them at the comments section.
Time for me to go into hibernation and possible have a name change.